While I've thought that I have looked at all of my 'stuff' in a space of awareness, I haven't considered any of my repeating behaviors in this way. The questions to consider portion of your post is particularly helpful and will provide a lot to journal about. Thank you!
Anothing pertinent post for me as a work through why I move home so often, and yet when I've moved thinking this is the one, this time I've got it right, it never us. I know I'm looking for home in a deeper sense, really. The home I had as a child was dysfunctional. An unattuned mother. So the search goes on. Your mention of sanctuary felt v resonant, as did your mention of somatic practices that ease the nervous system. I suppose its the inner child wants to be held. An inner holding container rather than a bricks and mortar one. I constructed a stone circle down the garden which helped a little, but still I search, trying to find the tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere that will magically feel right because its so connected with nature and animals. But I'm pondering how I can create this within me, rather than yet another expensive move.
A symbol for the current state is the wildwood tarot 7 stones. I cannot find my way. I am in stuck, blocked, unwell, spent flat out on the ground. The symbol for where I want to get to is the wildwood image for the Sun. My soul longs for nature, water, animals, a place away from my industrial roots and away from pollution, light pollution included. I cannot see my way from one card to the other. The path is hidden from me. But in the 7 stones is the green woman, the healing presence. The therapist, yes, but I am always searching for the greater presence behind the therapist. I cannot find my way to Her.
The 7 stones is really striking, wow. The circle of healing stones...it makes me wonder about the inner container, temenos that may be establishing (or is established?).
Perhaps drawing a third card, one for the bridge between card 1 and 2, would offer some further guidance. I would also consider a dream incubation.
Tough indeed - nine swords. I think there is a lot more breaking down of stuff to happen in therapy, things that aren't in my consciousness at the moment.
The 9 of Swords has always felt like a direct confrontation. Where the 8 of Swords tasks us to recognize what is limiting, hidden, and concealed, the 9 is the meeting.
It makes me wonder what haunts you in the middle of the night, the presence that feels haunting in the psyche. How can it be met more fully?
On a personal note, this card has followed me around for years and came to be my reminder of difficult symptoms, what they represent at the core, and how I can lean in rather than recoil.
Taken sequentially, perhaps this means you are getting close to the 10 of swords, which brings reconciliation and integration (although through a painful reckoning).
I know what my yearning is: for connection. What I can't seem to get past is the unconscious repetition of connection-seeking behaviours that never reach completion. Recognizing my soul's need to connect hasn't unlocked any insight regarding how to approach it in a more balanced way.
Perhaps there is another layer to this, something mixed with the yearning for connection. I would look specifically towards any other patterns you notice. Do you seem to connect to a certain type of person? Do the relationships usually play out in similar ways? If so, what may be the yearning at the center of that pattern?
Oh, I'm not actually managing to build any stable connections. Dating attempts last a few dates at best before I lose my will to tolerate someone I'm finding I don't actually like that much. I keep trying to do dreamwork with people but one of them just tried to steer it towards sex, another one got scared off, another unconsciously led me in circles (he'd converted to Christianity since and was only doing it to humor me). I try to connect specifically over soul work/creativity but other people have different priorities. I can't tell whether it's just a numbers game and I'm not finding the right people, or if it's the fault of my unconscious patterns.
Sometimes it is hard to discern what the source of issue is. At times like that, I try to turn towards greater wisdom that is found outside of ego's sphere of understanding (as that is often limited). For me, that might mean incubating a dream, doing a tarot reading, an active imagination, etc on the topic. Perhaps something like that may help you in getting some clarity?
While I've thought that I have looked at all of my 'stuff' in a space of awareness, I haven't considered any of my repeating behaviors in this way. The questions to consider portion of your post is particularly helpful and will provide a lot to journal about. Thank you!
You're welcome, glad you found it helpful :)
Anothing pertinent post for me as a work through why I move home so often, and yet when I've moved thinking this is the one, this time I've got it right, it never us. I know I'm looking for home in a deeper sense, really. The home I had as a child was dysfunctional. An unattuned mother. So the search goes on. Your mention of sanctuary felt v resonant, as did your mention of somatic practices that ease the nervous system. I suppose its the inner child wants to be held. An inner holding container rather than a bricks and mortar one. I constructed a stone circle down the garden which helped a little, but still I search, trying to find the tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere that will magically feel right because its so connected with nature and animals. But I'm pondering how I can create this within me, rather than yet another expensive move.
A symbol for the current state is the wildwood tarot 7 stones. I cannot find my way. I am in stuck, blocked, unwell, spent flat out on the ground. The symbol for where I want to get to is the wildwood image for the Sun. My soul longs for nature, water, animals, a place away from my industrial roots and away from pollution, light pollution included. I cannot see my way from one card to the other. The path is hidden from me. But in the 7 stones is the green woman, the healing presence. The therapist, yes, but I am always searching for the greater presence behind the therapist. I cannot find my way to Her.
The 7 stones is really striking, wow. The circle of healing stones...it makes me wonder about the inner container, temenos that may be establishing (or is established?).
Perhaps drawing a third card, one for the bridge between card 1 and 2, would offer some further guidance. I would also consider a dream incubation.
Aha! A third card - excellent idea.
Feel free to report back if you’d like some considerations. I know drawing more concrete advice in those types of pulls can be tough :)
Tough indeed - nine swords. I think there is a lot more breaking down of stuff to happen in therapy, things that aren't in my consciousness at the moment.
The 9 of Swords has always felt like a direct confrontation. Where the 8 of Swords tasks us to recognize what is limiting, hidden, and concealed, the 9 is the meeting.
It makes me wonder what haunts you in the middle of the night, the presence that feels haunting in the psyche. How can it be met more fully?
On a personal note, this card has followed me around for years and came to be my reminder of difficult symptoms, what they represent at the core, and how I can lean in rather than recoil.
Taken sequentially, perhaps this means you are getting close to the 10 of swords, which brings reconciliation and integration (although through a painful reckoning).
I know what my yearning is: for connection. What I can't seem to get past is the unconscious repetition of connection-seeking behaviours that never reach completion. Recognizing my soul's need to connect hasn't unlocked any insight regarding how to approach it in a more balanced way.
Perhaps there is another layer to this, something mixed with the yearning for connection. I would look specifically towards any other patterns you notice. Do you seem to connect to a certain type of person? Do the relationships usually play out in similar ways? If so, what may be the yearning at the center of that pattern?
Oh, I'm not actually managing to build any stable connections. Dating attempts last a few dates at best before I lose my will to tolerate someone I'm finding I don't actually like that much. I keep trying to do dreamwork with people but one of them just tried to steer it towards sex, another one got scared off, another unconsciously led me in circles (he'd converted to Christianity since and was only doing it to humor me). I try to connect specifically over soul work/creativity but other people have different priorities. I can't tell whether it's just a numbers game and I'm not finding the right people, or if it's the fault of my unconscious patterns.
Sometimes it is hard to discern what the source of issue is. At times like that, I try to turn towards greater wisdom that is found outside of ego's sphere of understanding (as that is often limited). For me, that might mean incubating a dream, doing a tarot reading, an active imagination, etc on the topic. Perhaps something like that may help you in getting some clarity?
Thank you. This one came at a most appropriate time. Synchronicity.
I'm glad to hear it, James. Synchronicity is another way the unconscious makes itself known.