Planting the Gordian Knot

Revelations via Active Imagination

Despite the calling of the signal star (my prima materia, the Stella Signata) to attune and align with a higher path of vocation and purpose, I oft find myself caught in an intractable knot. I alluded to this in my post:

“I often feel that I am wandering in the creative chaos, questioning if I have the internal and external resources to continue. Living on that edge is both exhilarating and exhausting.”

This has been an ongoing cycle since the beginning of my work, when I left behind the safety of a traditional job to pursue the unknown world of creative passions. The courage to take this leap is largely due to my receptivity and faith in the visions of potential that arise from the unconscious. This is the strength and weakness of the intuitive type. Through them I see possibilities that lie inherent in a given situation, within individuals and myself. With the focusing and selecting nature of the introverted intuitive function, these visions come alive in my psyche with a rush of libidinal energy that seeks to become manifest in the world.

And yet, as I enter into the complexity of sensate material reality, I struggle. The visions of possibility are powerful and energizing, but they do not provide a clear map. I find myself losing steam. There are demands upon me that I often do not know how to meet. I seek to build a healthier relationship to my content and output that respects my boundaries, but am unsure of how best to proceed. I run up against a painful truth: I cannot bend the system to work for me, I either participate (begrudgingly) or I once again follow a rebel’s path (which guarantees no positive outcome or reciprocity).

This is where the knot lies. I can feel it lodged deep in my solar plexus. I am exhausted each time I run into it, realizing that it has only become tighter and more entangled.

Turning Towards the Unconscious

In times of uncertainty, I turn towards the unconscious. I acknowledge the limitations of my ego’s awareness. I suspect there are likely shadowy forces at play that thwart my attempts at clarity. Each time a symptom of a chronic issue reappears, I remind myself that something deeper is trying to be known. Something just out of the grasp of my consciousness.

This is where I found myself a few weeks ago. Frankly, a bit annoyed and fed up with the internal struggle of how to move forward with the public side of my work. As I sat down to do some journaling, I had a sense that I should do an active imagination instead.

“Active imagination is a form of mediation which man has used, at least from the dawn of history, if not earlier, as a way of learning to know his God or gods. In other words, it is a method for exploring the unknown, whether we think of the unknown as an outside god — as an immeasurable infinite — or whether we know that we can meet it by contemplating our unknown selves in an entirely inner experience.” - Barbara Hannah, Encounters with the Soul

As I dropped into a meditative state, an imaginal scenery unfolded. I found myself walking through the shaded edge of a forest. I sensed I had a destination, but to where, I did not know. Aimlessly I walked, with not much changing or coming to my attention. I felt tension growing in my body, impatience. Still, I stuck with the vision and continued. As I became calm and receptive again, the scene began to change. Now I was sitting in front of a camp fire, feeling the warmth against my face.

I took a deep breath and felt into the issue of my work. Before me appeared an intricate and tangled coil of ropes. This is the Gordian Knot, I mused to myself. Each layer reflects an emotional stance, a painful thought, a fearful anticipation that I cannot integrate properly within myself. Instead, it becomes more entwined upon itself. If that were so, like Alexander the Great, I only need draw my sword and slice it in half with an assurance of my stroke.

Alexander the Great cuts the Gordian Knot by Jean-Simon Berthélemy

But that is not the way. This echoed in my mind. The imaginal version of myself reached out and took the knot into her hands. It was done so lovingly, like a precious gift that must be treated delicately. I eased myself to the ground and began to dig deep into the earth. Dirt under my fingernails, the feeling of cold soil against my skin. I dug and dug. Then, I placed the knot into the ground, and covered it once more with soil.

Plant it and watch what grows from this seed…

Facing Reality

I regret to inform my readers that the imaginal planting of this knot, however poignant and powerful, did not result in any immediate or noticeable changes. In fact, I continued to find myself wrapped up in the same old thoughts and sentiments. And yet, there was a more nuanced understanding formed through my active imagination. The very act of giving space to the issue via symbolic form provided me a path to reconnect back to it in new ways.

Jung shares on active imagination:

You can also use a bad mood as a starting-point, and then try to find out what sort of fantasy-image it will produce, or what image expresses this mood. You then fix this image in the mind by concentrating your attention. Usually it will alter, as the mere fact of contemplating it animates it. The alterations must be carefully noted down all the time, for they reflect the psychic processes in the unconscious background, which appear in the form of images consisting of conscious memory material. In this way conscious and unconscious are united, just as a waterfall connects above and below. - “The Conjunction”, CW 14, par. 706

Each time I thought about the knot, I considered how it faired underground. Was it growing? Were its roots lengthening deep into the earth? Had it failed to germinate? Then it struck me. How could I expect to reap any harvest if I did not care for this fragile seed? I must recognize my role as its tender.

As Jung points out, there was a connection made between my conscious and unconscious standpoint. But the work does not end there. It must be brought into the world and attended to. Instead, I had continued to fuss over it. Attempting to use the dull knife of rational strategy to cut through the fog of my uncertainty. To return to earth, I suspect, means I must ground this issue in something real and practical. I have to give it a chance for new life.

With that in mind, I’m experimenting with my Substack and the offerings here. I’ll continue to write in-depth posts (like this one). In addition to that, you’ll see podcast style posts listed under the name, Divinations. Through this format I will share my own personal journey, answer questions, and contemplate the mysteries of the unconscious in a style that blends a conversational and educational approach.